Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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