you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
