I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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