Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You did what with his pubic hair?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
