i don't like sucking hair
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
