I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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