my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
