Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize