I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize