She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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