just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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