I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
