I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
