At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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