i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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