I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize