Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
