I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
