Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
