I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize