apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
