im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize