somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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