it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
