the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
