did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
