i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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