the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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