therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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