God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
