Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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