A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize