Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
