How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
