what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When are your genitals available?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize