too bad you live with your parents still
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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