dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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