I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
