he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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