I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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