I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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