some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
