I think my vagina is haunted
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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