At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You smell like stripper and shame
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
