Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
