Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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