She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
