I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
