Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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