fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
