I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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