Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
