I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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