i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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