Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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