you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize