in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
