Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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