she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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