I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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