The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
