I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
