You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
