And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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