Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
