You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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