You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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