That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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