but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He uses pillows to masturbate.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize