ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm both gender and math confused
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
